Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
