Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize