she was so not down for the gang bang
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
