Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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