i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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