I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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