I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
