He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
