drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
COCAINE IS GR8
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
