actually, I'm a sock model
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
MIDGETS
????
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
