It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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