1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
