do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize