do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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