It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
