I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
