Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
