Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
