i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
