you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize