He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
