I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
