i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
