so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
