you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
