hotel room ftw
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
