Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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