i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
