I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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