I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
