did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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