To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
