worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
