Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
In America we eat man semen.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
