yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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