OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
