drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize