That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize