Moan for me like Helen Keller
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
do nipples grow back?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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