Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
