I can text with my tongue
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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