The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
