so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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