Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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