Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
