That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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