I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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