i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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