so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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