I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
