I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
