If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
