Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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