sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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