I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
