I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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