My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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