the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
