words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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