I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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