all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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