I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
