I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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