i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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