North Korea, Best Korea!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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