I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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