just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
