The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize