how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
