Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
