she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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