ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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