I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
