did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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