I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
