So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
