Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
