but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
